#2: How to Prevent Your Teenager from Failing to Launch into Adulthood

If you're a Parent of a teenager, and you want to know what you can do now to prepare your adolescent for adulthood, this episode is for you.  Did you know that there are "red flags" that every parent should be aware of—early signs that could be warning you about their future challenges with ‘launching’ into adulthood? Recognizing these signs and taking early action can make all the difference. In this episode, I’m sharing 10 suggestions that you can take that will guide your teen to becoming responsible, motivated, independent, and ready to take on life’s next stage, with confidence. You can prevent Failure to Launch just by implementing these simple steps. Listen in and decide for yourself if your teen is on the right track, or needs your help!

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Transcript

I’m Shari Jonas and you’re listening to Launch.

Recently, a parent approached me for advice, and they asked a really great question. Which got me thinking, why haven’t I addressed this before? I realized then that most of the parents I talk to are currently knee-deep in their struggles with a failing-to-launch adult. 

But this parent wasn’t asking how to fix the problem; they wanted to know how to prevent it from happening in the first place. And I thought, this is a topic that every parent with an adolescent child might want to hear about. 

So, today’s episode is for those of you who want to know: What can I do to help my adolescent child avoid failing to launch into adulthood?

In the first episode, I walked you through a checklist of signs to watch out for, but you may have noticed something—I never mentioned age. Instead, I referred to them as young adults or adult children. That was intentional. The truth is - age isn’t the most important factor when we’re talking about the challenges of launching into adulthood. 

What really matters is: where they are in their lives, what they’re doing, what mindset they have, what skills they’re developing and whether or not they’re growing into responsible, independent adults. 

At this stage, age is not the focus. I mean, does it really matter if your adult child is 23 or 30… if they’re still living at home and not thriving? 

And since COVID, many adult children moved back home for financial reasons, but they are working, contributing, and so on. For them, it’s a matter of economics, not failing to launch. 

So, the real concern isn’t just living at home; it’s what they’re doing and preparing for while they are at home. Now, since this episode is about prevention and doing what it takes so they don’t hit that roadblock that we call failing to launch—age does matter, because I’m specifically talking about adolescence, that critical pre-adult stage of your child’s life.

According to the World Health Organization, the age range for adolescence is between 10 and 19 years but it is divided into 2 phases: early adolescence (which is 10-14 years old) and late adolescence, which is 15-19. 

At these ages, we cannot say that they are struggling with adulting because they are still too young. But they can certainly be showing early signs of it, and that’s exactly what that parent asked me about. 

They said that even though their adolescent was finishing school, and working parting time, when they asked them about their future plans, they had none. They weren’t even thinking about next steps. 

And this is really important, which is why the parent was so concerned. 

It's as if she knew that without some sort of game plan, her 17.5-year-old was heading into the danger zone. That slippery slope of “I don’t know what I want to do, so I’m not going to do anything.” 

This episode will address the red flags that you should watch out for with your adolescent, and what you need to do to redirect them, by offering you suggestions that you can start doing right away to prepare them for the next stage of their life.

If you are a parent with adolescent children at home, and you want to know how to ensure that will have the skills, the motivation, and the confidence to step into adulthood, this episode is really for you. 

Here are the red flags that parents of adolescents should watch out for, because these are clear warning signs that your child may be at risk of failing to launch into adulthood in the near future. 

The 1st red flag is lack of motivation. If your adolescent doesn’t seem interested in school, getting a part time job, doing things for themself, or thinking about their future, it could be a sign they’re NOT developing the drive that is needed as an adult. Pay attention to constant procrastination, avoiding talking about their future plans, and a reluctance to take on new challenges or projects. 

The next is avoidance of responsibility. If your adolescent is dropping the ball when it comes to their homework, chores, or whatever you ask of them, this is a red flag. Notice if they are repeatedly missing deadlines, relying too heavily on you to get things done for them, or if you’re constantly reminding them to take care of their responsibilities.

Another red flag is difficulty managing emotions or stress. If your adolescent tends to overreact in challenging situations or struggles to function under pressure, they may not be building the resiliency and coping skills they need. Look out for frequent emotional outbursts or, withdrawing when things get tough or worse; turning to unhealthy habits like drinking and using drugs. 

By the way, this is often the age when we see the first signs of panic attacks, migraines, stomach aches, even phobias.  These are very strong indicators that your adolescent needs help learning new ways to manage their emotions and handle stress, because, and I hate being so dramatic, but it will only get worse.

The next red flag is over-reliance on you for decision-making. If your adolescent is always coming to you to make the choices that they should be making themselves, they are not developing the problem-solving skills that they’ll need as adults. 

Another red flag is a lack of social connection. If your adolescent is isolating themselves or has very few meaningful friendships, it could be a sign they are struggling with social development, which is essential for thriving in adulthood. 

If they are avoiding social activities, spending too much time alone, or showing little interest in building new relationships, you’ve got to step in.

And the last one is; Poor time management and organizational skills. If your adolescent child struggles with managing their time, is frequently late, or has trouble staying organized, they may not be developing the thinking ahead and planning skills that are so important in adulthood.

I call these “red flags” because they really are warning signs. Parents, should you recognize any of these, you need to step in and provide guidance, before the bigger challenges arise.

I’ve seen many of these with friends’ kids and family members, and I can honestly say that you should NOT ignore these signs, or overcompensate for them, or dismiss them as something your kid will grow out of. Because sadly, they won’t. 

But that’s okay, because they have you. And you have me. 

So let’s get into some constructive suggestions that you can take and use to prevent your adolescent from struggling or possibly failing to launch into adulthood. 

Here are 10 actionable steps, you can start using today. As you do these though, consider their current age. Because there is a such a big range in adolescence, you need to tailor these to whether they are a younger adolescent or an older one.

Let’s get started: 

1st: is Encourage Responsibility: Let them start doing their own tasks, like giving them their chores, managing their allowance, and as they get older, participating in small family decisions. This helps them develop independence, confidence, and of course, responsibility.

2nd: Teach them Problem-Solving Skills: Instead of solving every problem for them, guide your adolescent through their challenges by encouraging them to brainstorm solutions with you and think about the outcomes. This also builds confidence and of course, decision-making skills.

3rd: Set Clear Expectations: Outlining your expectations of them for school, or their behaviour, even their responsibilities around the house gives them a sense of direction. Eventually, they’ll set their own expectations, but for now, it starts with you.

4th: Strengthen their Emotional Resilience: Adolescence is a time of emotional growth. Teaching coping strategies for managing stress and disappointment helps them to handle setbacks and bounce back easier. 

My 5th Suggestion is to Start teaching them Life Skills: Such as cooking, staying organized, managing their time, and even saving money. These are all important life skills as they approach adulthood.

Number 6 is Help them to develop a Can-DO Mindset: They means encouraging them to keep an open mind, to keep learning, even when things are hard. Teach them how to embrace challenges and see failure or mistakes as lessons, rather setbacks.

The 7th one is Be a Good Role Model: Adolescents often follow the behaviors they see in their parents. If we’re teaching them how to become independent, responsible, and learn important life skills, they’ll be looking to see how you’re doing. Food for thought, isn’t it…

Number 8 is to Encourage Part-Time Work or Volunteering: Urge your adolescent to either start volunteering somewhere, or to get a part-time job. These types of experiences are the best ways to teach adolescents responsibility, time management, and the value of earning their own money.

The 9th suggestion is to Talk Openly with Them About Thinking Ahead: Discuss short term and long-term goals, like what courses they’d like to take in school, or what do they see themselves doing, and then plan out what steps they need to take now to get there. This helps them stay get excited about their future, and stay focused.

And lastly, Encourage Social Connections: Help your adolescent to build friendships outside the home through activities like sports, social clubs, or volunteering. Developing positive friendships and learning how to act in different social environments will boost their self confidence and provide them with the relationship skills they’ll need for adult life.

These are the actionable strategies that will help them to become independent, responsibility, and to develop the mindset they’ll need to launch confidently into adulthood. 

Remember Parents, the goal is to support them while gradually stepping back and allowing them to take the reins of their own lives. And, do not underestimate the power of building your child’s confidence. It plays a crucial role. If your adolescent is insecure and doesn’t trust in their ability to make their own decisions, they will hesitate to take on responsibilities. 

Feeling confident will allow them to trust their judgment, solve their own problems, and take ownership of their life. It’s that confidence that will fuel their journey toward independence. Remember, progress takes time, but with your guidance, they will get there.

Maybe it’s you that needs the confidence. But I want to know…You’ve got this—and so do they.

I’m Shari Jonas and this is LAUNCH. I hope you found value in this episode. There’s so much more insightful advice and actionable steps coming your way that will help you guide your child to launch successfully into adulthood. If you enjoyed it, please take a moment to write a review, share it with someone who needs it and subscribe if you never want to miss another. 

Talk to you soon!

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