#8: Mental Illness in Teens and Young Adults: How to Spot the Signs, Start the Conversation, and Get Professional Help

Click here for the Top 10 Most Important Life Skills Guide. Download it today for FREE!

If your teen, or young adult is struggling to transition into adulthood, mental illness could be a key reason holding them back. In this episode, we discuss how to recognize the warning signs that your child might need professional help, including emotional, behavioral, and social indicators. Learn compassionate strategies to approach your young adult about their mental health and the essential steps to take if they’ve already been diagnosed. Addressing mental health challenges is the first step toward helping them build the confidence and stability needed to thrive as independent adults. This episode provides parents with actionable advice to support their child’s mental health journey with care and understanding.

Click here to receive Shari's Free LAUNCH Advice Newsletter

For your free Failure to Launch Checklist, go to: https://sharijonaslifefx.com/pages/ftl-checklist

For a complimentary 15 minute consultation, email: ShariJonasLifeFx@gmail.com

🎙️Remember to hit the SUBSCRIBE button so you never miss an episode.

Shari can be found on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Follow her for No BS Parenting Tips.

Search for: @sharijonaslifefx

Transcript

Becoming an independent, responsible adult isn’t an easy transition, but when mental health challenges come into play, it can feel like an uphill battle—not just for your young adult but for you as well.

First, let me start by saying this: you are not alone. So many parents are navigating this challenging stage with their kids, and it can feel overwhelming to figure out what’s “normal” these days and what might require deeper attention. 

Today, we’re diving into a really important topic: mental health challenges in young adults. Specifically, we’re going to talk about how to identify whether your child might need professional help, how to approach them, and what steps to take if they’ve already been diagnosed.

I need to mention that I’m not a psychiatrist or a doctor in the mental health profession. I do have degrees in psychology and family life education, along with years of research and experience in the field of parenting so I can certainly provide you with valuable insights, suggestions and resources. But I cannot offer a diagnosis. For that you will need a therapist or at least a practioner who can have your young adult tested.  My goal is always to empower you with the knowledge and tools you need to support your young adult, and the first step to helping them thrive… is addressing what may be holding them back.

Over the years, I’ve witnessed many situations where I knew there was a problem with a child, but it was not being addressed. It was the hardest thing to watch because even though it was not my place to say anything I knew that early intervention or professional helps was their best chance. 

These parents either didn’t see it, or they had an idea but didn’t want to make a big deal about it. But for those parents who did bring it to their doctor’s attention, they were able to get ahead of it and provide the necessary help. I say this to you with my whole heart, there is no shame in getting your child tested. I hope that you find this episode to be both informative and insightful. 

If this is your first time listening in, I always talk about the why. In this case, why is it so important to have your young adult tested or seen by a professional, to determine if in fact they are struggling with a mental disorder. 

For starters, it can answer a lot of questions for you and for them. Just like a child who is having trouble learning how to read, and then you discover they have dyslexia. 

A child who can’t sit still in class gets tested for ADHD. A teenager who has melt downs whenever there’s a school test, or a social gathering might be struggling with social anxiety. There’s depression, bipolar disorder, ASD or autism spectrum disorder, the list goes. 

 Understanding what’s going on allows you to make adjustments, get medication or seek counselling all of which can help your young adult to manage their life and move forward. I haven’t mentioned substance abuse, because I’ll be talking about that in the next episode. 

Before I say anything else, I want you to know that it can be difficult to distinguish between the normal struggles of early adulthood and a mental health condition that requires professional attention.

So let’s get into some of the signs to look out for or rather to not ignore in order to determine if your teen or young adult should be evaluated. 

Since there are many different issues that this episode could be referring to, I’m going to keep these signs fairly generic, and also to a minimum of 5. 

First, is Persistent Emotional Struggles. One of the first signs that your young adult might need help is when their emotional struggles seem to go beyond the typical ups and downs of life. It’s normal to feel sad, stressed, or frustrated at times, but if these feelings last for weeks or even months, it could be something more. 

Pay attention if they seem persistently down, easily overwhelmed, or unusually irritable. Take not if they’ve lost interest in things they used to enjoy or have a hard time bouncing back when things go awry. Hopelessness about their future, constantly feeling anxious and even new phobias need to be addressed.

The key here is to look at how long these emotions last and whether they’re making it harder for your young adult to live their daily life—things like holding a job, managing responsibilities, or maintaining friendships. 

If they’re still in school, are they losing interest, finding excuses to not go, or behaving unusually poorly. Even if you see emotional outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation, don’t brush these aside. 

The Second is Changes in Behavior. Significant changes in behavior can be a clear sign that your young adult is facing challenges that go beyond typical growing pains. Unlike emotional struggles, which are more about how they feel, extreme behavioral changes show up in what they do. 

For example, they might start canceling plans, preferring to spend most of their time alone. You might notice they’ve completely disengaged from hobbies or activities they used to love—like quitting a sports team or no longer playing an instrument they once enjoyed.

In some cases, these changes may lean toward risky behavior, being reckless or making impulsive decisions that seem out of character. These actions can be subtle at first but often grow over time. 

Behavioral changes are your window into what they might be struggling to manage internally, and they’re often a big clue that it’s time to step in and get them help.

Next is Struggles with Daily Functioning. Now these might sound like they’re overlapping with one another. But daily functioning is when they’re neglecting basic responsibilities and everyday tasks. Are they skipping meals, no longer cleaning up after themselves,  showering seems to be an effort, even making a phone call seems overwhelming to them. These struggles can pile up quickly, leaving them feeling stuck or incapable of moving forward. If you’re seeing a pattern where they seem unable to meet the basic demands of day-to-day life, it’s a sign that they may need professional support

Fourth: Physical Symptoms. Physical symptoms that don’t have a clear medical cause can often be a sign of an underlying mental health challenge. Mental and emotional struggles can take a toll on the body, showing up in ways that might not immediately seem connected. 

For instance, your young adult might complain about frequent headaches, stomach aches, chronic fatigue or low energy. This can happen because mental health conditions like depression or anxiety often disrupt the body’s energy regulation, leaving a person feeling physically exhausted.

Sleep patterns can also be a big clue—are they sleeping too much or complaining that they can’t fall asleep or stay asleep. 

Another sign is noticeable changes in weight, whether that’s a sudden loss or gain. These physical symptoms aren’t just discomforts—they’re signals from the body that something deeper might be going on, and they’re worth paying close attention to if they persist.

And the 5th: Expressions of Self-Harm or Suicidal Thoughts. This is by far the most serious and urgent signs that your young adult is in distress. Even if these expressions seem casual or offhand—you have got to take them seriously. 

Sometimes these thoughts are verbalized directly, but other times they might show up in other ways, like writing, drawing, or social media posts.

You may also notice physical signs of self-injury, such as unexplained cuts or burnsoften in areas they might try to hide. These are clear cries for help and require immediate attention. 
 
If your young adult is showing signs of self-harm or suicide, I urge you to act quickly by reaching out to a mental health professional or even better, a crisis hotline. Your child’s safety is the most important priority. Be sure to keep those emergency numbers readily available.

Those are the signs to watch out for and since I know how touchy this topic is, I’m going to offer 3 soft approaches because it’s very likely that your young adult may resist your help at first.

Here’s how to approach the conversation in a supportive way;

First, Use “I” Statements

Instead of saying, “You need to see someone,” frame it as your observation and concern. For example: “I’ve noticed you’ve seem really down lately, and I’m worried about how you’re feeling.” Or “I see how hard things have been for you, and I want to help you feel better.”

Second, Normalize Seeking Help

Many young adults fear the stigma of seeing a therapist or they think their struggles aren’t serious enough to warrant professional help. So you must reassure them that seeking help is normal and proactive by saying, “You know, seeing a therapist to work through tough times is no different from seeing a doctor when you’re physically sick.”

And third, Offer Your Support

Make the process less intimidating by offering to help. Saying something like, “Would it help if I looked up therapists with you or came with you to your first appointment?” 

If your young adult is pushing you away, in spite of all your attempts to help them, ask another trusted family member or friend to speak to them. Perhaps even contact their doctor and tell them what’s going on. When I was younger, I was going through a very rough patch. 

My best friend didn’t know what to do for me, so she reached out to my brother, who spoke to my mother, who contacted my doctor. You might say this was some sort of intervention. The doctor’s office called me to set up an annual check up. And once I was in front of him, he addressed the issue with me directly. That whole set up, saved me, and I’m beyond thankful that they went behind my back and did what they did. So please don’t give up on your child. 

Now, if you’re a parent whose young adult has already been diagnosed with a mental health condition, it’s normal to feel a mix of relief and uncertainty about their path ahead. The good news is that there are steps you can take to support both your child and yourself during this time.

First, be sure to educate yourself about their diagnosis, even their medication, so you can better understand what they’re experiencing. Next, encourage them to stick with their treatment plan, whether that involves medication, therapy, or both. Gentle reminders can go a long way but remember to respect their autonomy—they need to feel in control of their mental health journey.

Encourage healthy routines, as in good sleep habits, eating nutritious meals, and getting outside to do some physical activity. If they’re struggling to access resources, you can help connect them with support groups. Finally, don’t forget to take care of yourself—supporting a young adult through mental health challenges can be emotionally taxing. 

Make time for your own well-being, even if it’s just carving out space for activities that recharge you. Taking care of yourself ensures you’re in the best position to help your child.

I know this episode or rather this topic can feel heavy, but I want to you to walk away today with a hopeful perspective. Mental health challenges are incredibly common, but with the right support, starting with you, your young adult can learn how to manage their issues effectively. 

Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with a few suggestions that you can take to move things along:  

1. Acknowledge their Progress

It’s important to recognize even the smallest steps forward. Did they schedule an appointment? Complete a therapy session? Shower and prepare a meal. Acknowledge those moments. Not just because you should, but also so they learn to give themselves credit. It’s a nice change from always beating themselves up.

2. Work together to develop their Life Skills 

Once their mental health begins to stabilize, slowly get into teaching them life skills. I have a pdf on the 10 most important which I’ll provide a link for in the show notes. 

3. Remind Them of Their Strengths

Your young adult may feel as if their struggles define them or label them. Instead, remind them of the strengths and the qualities that make them unique. I was listening to a podcast the other day that spoke specifically about this. Rather than just saying, “You’re so sweet, you’re such a great kid, tell them why. Be specific to them and whatever natural ability or personal traits they have that make them unique. That is what they need to hear from you, during these times. 

4. Focus on the Long Game

Mental health recovery isn’t linear, and setbacks are part of the journey. Keep a big-picture perspective and remind your young adult—and yourself—that it’s about progress, not perfection.

Parenting a young adult can be a complex and challenging experience, and adding mental health issues to the mix can feel overwhelming. But remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. 

The fact that you’re showing up here, listening, and seeking out ways to help them is a testament to your love and dedication to your child.

Your young adult is on their own journey, and while you can’t walk the path for them, you can walk it beside them. By staying informed, offering your unconditional support, and seeking help for them when needed, is laying the foundation for their growth and well-being.

And don’t forget— to have hope. With the right tools and guidance, young adults can thrive, even in the face of mental health challenges. Keep showing up and know that every effort you make matters.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with other parents who might need this encouragement. And remember, you are not alone.